I'm a 40-year-old mom addicted to reflecting on life and my role in this crazy world we live in. Through writing, art, photography I try to make sense of where I am, and through genealogy I try to know from where I came, and gardening, well, it simply connects me with mother nature and her connection to god.
My new plan is to draw each night before I go to bed. When I began therapeutic journaling a few years ago, my counselor told me to find a time when my subconscious was aware and ready to speak and I was quiet and ready to listen. Night time was the best fit. What I find when I journal or draw at this time of the day is that things just happen. It's that whole process for the sake of process--the art of listening to your subconscious, the internal voice--which I view as God and allowing it take shape, speak to the conscious level and help guide me in the right direction. When I first started drawing this, I just had a face, and slowly she began to transform. A mistake here and there led to a new direction. She was not planned as a praying bride, but there she is, and isn't that fitting for my Changes journal? I mean one of the changes I'm undergoing is being a newly engaged.
Interestingly, as she began to develop, I saw, rather than an uptight, nervous, crying bride, a woman who was at peace in her wedding garb, praying for more than just a perfect wedding. As I've come to realize over the years, this quiet time for me to listen to the internal voice (it can be the eternal voice, too) is an opportunity for me to come to terms with the way things are or should be.
As with all of the women I draw, I love her. I can feel her--especially as a small portion of my own subconscious coming to terms with all the changes. Seeing her in juxtaposition to the "silent" woman I drew the night before is interesting and indicative of the complexity of my subconscious.
I'm off to Colorado for a week to celebrate my birthday. I'm so excited, and hope I can get a bit of drawing in while I'm gone...if not, the photos will have to suffice until I get home and process a week's worth of learning, living and loving.