I'm a 40-year-old mom addicted to reflecting on life and my role in this crazy world we live in. Through writing, art, photography I try to make sense of where I am, and through genealogy I try to know from where I came, and gardening, well, it simply connects me with mother nature and her connection to god.
Okay, I awoke to a new decade. I'm officially 40 years old! I'm excited, too. I pulled in last night from my trip to Colorado, where Eric and I went for our first vacation together to celebrate my upcoming birthday... more photos are coming later today or tomorrow.
If my dad were in town, he'd ask, "So, do you feel any different?" Today, no, but over the last few months a distinct change has occurred. I'm more at ease, I'm less obsessed with work, and I'm enjoying down time. Don't get me wrong, I still love my job and still want to do my best, but some magical change happened. I think I've spent the last 10 years trying desperately to get to this point. I finished my master's, achieved national board certification, took two years as an instructional coach, which was a huge career move and major professional development, and I've made a name for myself in my school district. All of that took so much energy. This in tandem with the energy I devoted to healing the wounds of my childhood, really took away my creative spark. What I was creating or doing was all centered around work-related materials or "assigned" projects to help heal those old wounds. That's not to say that some great stuff wasn't created, but, I'm ready to focus more on me and "home" and really allowing the spiritual self to shine through. I totally believe in things occurring for a reason, and now as I begin checking the "40" box on all sorts of documents, I know that I'm right where I'm suppose to be. The ego is sleeping better, the appreciation for life, love and family is strong, and I'm confident and almost comfortable in my own skin. I'm still adjusting to the the changes my body has undertaken in the last 10 years! Good lord, I wish I had my 20's body back!
I'm off to buy some alcohol paints and try to do a new project....